SURPRISE!! I’m back as promised with a final post and reflection on my experiences in Rwanda. I’ve been back in the U.S. for about 50 days and coming home has been a whirl wind of emotions. I fully intended on writing a deep reflection on my flights home and then posting that right when I landed in Maryland, but time got the better of me and that was easier said than done. Trying to put 2 months into a concise blog post has proven to be very difficult so bear with me.
We left off at week 8.5 as I was on my way back to Kigali for our final conference. The final conference was a really fun 2 days. All the teams were back in Kigali at the same hotel. We spent all of Friday giving presentations about our different placements. It was amazing to see how different each hospital was and how much work we accomplished as a whole team. That night we had to say goodbye to the students from IPRC and it was an emotional mess that none of us were ready for. Justine, Claudine and I had become a little family and we we didn’t want it to be over. We had a free day Saturday before everyone started leaving for the airport in different shifts that afternoon. We spent the day exploring Kigali one last time and reminiscing on how 2 months is a lot shorter than you think. I got lucky and my flight to Amsterdam was with 5 other friends from the program, so I didn’t have to say all of my goodbyes right away. The flight from Amsterdam to DC was the longest flight of the summer. I had gained a reputation on the trip of being able to sleep anywhere (a shaky bus or while eating a banana), but I couldn’t for the life of me sleep on this flight. 9 hours later I was walking through customs, welcomed home by the officer, and hugging my family. Just like that it was all over.
A day doesn’t go by that I don’t have a memory of the summer pop into my head. Sometimes it’s a funny story, sometimes an academic tidbit, and sometimes it’s just reminiscing on the fresh fruit I miss terribly.
I think I was expecting a larger culture shock heading into Rwanda than what I experienced. Yes, things were different than they are at home, but I fell into a routine that felt normal pretty quickly. The people of Rwanda were so incredibly welcoming that I felt comfort in my home stay, the classroom, our hotel, and the hospitals. Luxuries that we are accustomed to in the U.S. were no longer available, but that was expected and not hard to adjust to.
I knew my transition back home would be difficult. All of us on the program constantly joked about how reverse culture shock was going to hit hard – we had fallen in love with the simplicity of life in Rwanda, the kindness of the people, and with the work we were doing. The U.S. is starkly faster paced, people are more standoffish, and with the U.S. comes going back to school and facing the stress of a third year biomedical engineering major who has loads of responsibilities waiting. When I got home, people asked how it felt to be home and I often answered with a short “good.” To closer friends I would maybe answer with a “weird.” I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how it actually did feel to first come home and I’m not sure I can describe it. At the end of the 2 months I was ready to go home – to see my family and friends, give them all hugs. I missed captain crunch and hummus. I missed my bed, and I missed high water pressure. I missed the luxury’s I consistently have at home. I felt guilty a lot, thinking of all the ridiculous things I missed from home. Captain crunch? Sugary cereal I like to eat absurd amounts of as a snack?? I felt ridiculous. When coming home, I was happy to have all of these things again — I was happy to take a hot shower and sleep in my own clean bed that night, but I soon felt a surge of sadness and want to wake up in my hotel room next to Justine, to put my scrubs on and head to work to joke around with Xavier and Elysee.
When I woke up the day after I got home, I felt so incredibly “normal.” It made me feel almost distraught at how easy it was to fall back into a western way of life. I think my first week back I was definitely on edge. It is hard to enter back into a group of people that have been experiencing a completely different way of life than you for 2 full months. It’s also hard to completely explain the entire experience without feeling like you are rambling about yourself for far too long. I missed (and still do) the people I had gone through all of these transitions with. They say that reverse culture shock comes a lot from how other people respond to your travels. Do they ask too many questions? Do they not ask enough? Do they even care? Why aren’t people interested in what I did? I think everyone is trying to find the right balance of how many questions they should ask along with me trying to decide what the normal amount to bring it up is. A learning experience that is no one’s fault but definitely adds to a tough transition home. I am so grateful for my friends and family that asked all the right questions and were incredibly supportive and engaged with all of my stories. In case you are wondering here are some common questions and the answers to them:
Q: How was it?
A: Amazing, incredible, I don’t really know how to answer fully.
Q: What did you eat?
A: A typical meal is rice, beans and some sort of meat. We ate meat skewers with chips (french fries) a lot. Most meals were accompanied by a fanta, which is MUCH better in Africa than it is in the US because of the sugar used.
Q: How was the weather?
A: It was honestly hotter in Maryland than it was in Rwanda when I got home. Because of the lake and the hills in Rwanda, it is actually very temperate and only got up to maximum 80 degrees Fahrenheit. The sun, however, was incredibly strong and the UV was almost always at a 10 so in direct sunlight, you could work up a sweat.
Q: Do you really know the language?
A: I would like to think yes. I can definitely get around Rwanda and converse with taxi drivers and shop owners. Justine and I worked a lot with Claudine to learn new vocabulary, so we always felt we were pretty good at it!
Q: Did you meet cool people? Make a lot of friends?
A: Yes! Everyone I met was really awesome and it was really cool to be in a program with all engineers who were interested in the same things, while also having a lot of different backgrounds. I still keep in touch with some people and am so grateful for our friendships 🙂
Q: I wanna hear all about it!
A: Go read my blog! (Just kidding I would basically tell them everything from the blog though ;))
The hardest transition home was feeling like I was leaving a different life of mine behind. I had spent 2 months surrounded by strangers who quickly became my best friends and extended family and then in a matter of seconds we were boarding different planes and heading back to our normal lives separate from one another. Saying goodbye to people, knowing that you most likely never see them again, is something you truly cannot prepare for. My brain knew what was happening, but the emotions didn’t hit until I was walking through the DC airport alone. I am so grateful for everyone I met and the countless lessons I learned from the people of Rwanda as well as all my program partners. All of our colleagues in Rwanda said goodbye to us by saying “see you in heaven.” This stuck with me. In the U.S. we often sugar-coat. I think most of us would say “see you later,” even if we know that is highly unlikely. We wouldn’t want to admit that a goodbye is a forever goodbye. But with smiles on their faces our new Rwandan families said “see you in heaven” – their wholehearted truth.
Now that I am three weeks into my junior year, I think of Rwanda constantly while in the classroom — of ways I can apply my education to helping low-resourced countries. Doing service work is always a constant battle of making sure that any aid you provide to a community is lasting and not just for the period of time you are performing the service. I am trying to make sure that I keep my experiences with me to hopefully create a lasting impact. I am excited to grow my knowledge of building sustainable medical technology for different environments and communities. I am also excited to spread what I learned about the education system and hospital structure in Rwanda. I really learned that if we want to make a difference in building medical technology in low-income countries, we need to build it directly in the developing countries with the materials they have available and with their help. Everyone I met in Rwanda was so incredibly smart and eager to learn, but they lack the resources and institutions to gain an education that they can use to home in on their talents. I am consistently reminded how lucky I am to have access to not only higher education, but to so many options of what I want to study and pursue as a career.
As members of a developed society, there is a lot we can give to low-income countries, but there is just as much that we can gain from them. One of the biggest take-aways I have from this summer is that we cannot dismiss countries that are not “world players.” They have deep rooted history, culture, and plenty of lessons that we can learn and benefit from – we just need to start actually listening.
One last time, thank you for reading and for keeping up with my adventure. I truly cannot express how appreciative I am for the endless support I received from all of you since I started this blog way back in March (6 months ago!). Time truly does fly when you’re having fun. I can’t help but compare my summer to a vivid dream that came and went in the blink of an eye. None of this would have been possible without you all so, THANK YOU!!!
I am so grateful for the time I spent in Rwanda, for the people I met, and for the memories I will always have. Writing this now, I wish desperately I could be sitting by Lake Kivu eating a beef brochette with chips, laughing with friends about our crazy work stories or that I could be sitting in the BMET workshop with Justine and Claudine laughing and joking while we clean dust out of an old oxygen concentrator one more time. Ndagukunda cyane, Rwanda, ndagukunda cyane ❤